Undercover Laowai: Ji'An

I've done a bunch of traveling without posting lately, so the time has come for updating.

There are multiple places that I am going on this trip that I am not sure if foreigners have ever visited before. For these undiscovered locales, I will go incognito to unearth their history, customs, and reasons for anyone else to visit. [WARNING: CUTE PHOTOS OF CHILDREN AFTER THE JUMP]

My House: The Tour

Stuck in Qingdao: Not the End of the World

Stuck
The third and final leg of my trip was supposed to take place in Xi'An, but unfortunately the popularity of the beer festival made train tickets either sold out or out of my price range. Furthermore, hostel/hotel prices were getting more expensive by the day as people tried to get into town for the final week of the fest. So I was forced to spend one last day there before returning to Shanghai. There have been worse fates.

Qingdao Day 1.5: Who Needs Old Bay? And Disney for Adults (and Kids too?)

Settling In
After a six hour bus ride from Qufu to Qingdao, I was dropped off next to the highway. I had to walk about half-an-hour to grab a taxi, which took another half-hour. Needless to say, when I finally arrived at the hostel - despite the road sandwich - I was famished. So I was completely blindsided by what awaited me as I stepped through the door:

Kong Zi: Superhero or Kind of a Jerk?

Pre-Blog Heads-Up: For any Chinese readers of the blog out there; while some of what I have to say about Kong Zi may be a bit slanderous, I actually like guy's theories, anecdotes, and such - that was the reason for me coming to Qufu in the first place. There are certainly worse people to base your civilization around, hell even the Founding Fathers owned slaves. But all that being said, I don't think he is the greatest thing since fried rice either; in fact, he may have been kind of a jerk. Let's begin.

Qufu Day 1: Town of Kong Zi

I woke up early this morning to get on the "slow train" out to Qufu by this afternoon. By "slow train" they mean it only goes 250 km/h (155 mph), so we were still flying pretty fast. I got there early this afternoon, where I found that there are no more train tickets to Qingdao, so I will be spending 6 hours on a bus tomorrow instead - a small sacrifice to get to the pinnacle of Asian beer festivals. After finding an honest taximan, I got to my hostel (the charming Qufu International Youth Hostel), dropped off my junk and set out to find food and stuff to do.

A Quick Trip

Hey all,

Tomorrow I will be setting off on a three city tour for somewhere between a week and ten days. I just bought my ticket to the town of Qufu - Confucius' hometown - today. I'll spend 24 hours (possibly 48) there before heading up to Qingdao for their annual International Beer Festival. Depending on whether or not my friends decide to come up to the "Biggest Beer Festival in Asia," I'll stay for either three or four days. Then I'll take an overnight train over to Xi'An to check out the 1000 year old capitol of China and the Terra Cotta Warriors that reside there. This is the stuff I really loved blogging about last year, traveling around and being a real tourist - or trying to live like a resident - in a foreign city. I hope you all follow along, this should be a fun trip. Here's an easier way to read this:

Qufu: 1-2 days
Qingdao: 3-4 days
Xi'An: 3-4 days

Due to the long train rides, I should get in a few good long posts; even if I can't write everyday. When I get internet access, I'll post whatever I can for all of you. And I'll be sure to take a lot of photos too.

Stephen "Scuba" Lauer

Orienting to Shanghai Part 3: I Teach English Good

Usually my clothes are nicer than this

Of all the incredulous things in Shanghai, one thing keeps me dumbfounded: I'm a teacher?!? A middle school teacher!?!? A middle school English teacher?!?!? If I could IM randomramsrock (my old AIM sn) about this, Middle School Scuba would certainly have thrown himself out of a window. To be fair, all of my classes were on the first floor at Curtis, so it would have been more strange than suicidal... but that's not the point! English was consistently my least favorite subject then; even though I liked a lot of the books (To Kill A Mockingbird is still one of my favs), I was bloody awful at grammar - I didn't know my predicates from my participles! Somewhere, Mrs. Hoaglin's pencils are rolling in her apron.

Perhaps I changed a little over the past ten years. In high school, Mrs. Frommer, Ms. Stein, and the Plotts were a few of my favorite teachers and I took a couple interesting English courses at Maryland. But I was a business major, in a very math intensive focus... and now I'm in China teaching English to 13 year-olds. You may be wondering: how's that working out?

Surprisingly (or not), it's really fun, challenging, and not at all what I expected. Let me give you a rundown of sorts:

Challenging:
I have 19 classes, 17 Junior II's (13-14) and 2 Senior II's (16-17). There are about 25 kids in each Junior II class and 16 in each Senior II class, which means I have roughly 455 students. I see each class once a week. They've all memorized my name, it's kind of tough (see: impossible) to remember all of theirs.

Not At All What I Expected:
Beforehand, I was told that the students were quiet and you need to force them to volunteer. The latter is definitely true for a few of my classes and at least a handful of kids in each class. But the former, is just straight up false. These kids can get as loud as any classroom I ever sat in. And when it comes to the distribution of good kids, troublemakers, and everything in between, I'd say it's pretty much equal to that of an American high school classroom.

Fun:
This summer, I had no idea of what the kids' English proficiency level would be. They would be 8th graders, so should I teach at a 6th grade level? Or even lower? While it varies from class to class and student to student, they aren't completely fluent, but they're really good on a whole. I would kill to speak Chinese as well as they speak English.

I did Ice Breaker games for the first three weeks to try and get to know them as well as possible. Three common themes popped up: they love basketball, computer games, and... Lady Gaga (in increasing order of lovingness). In fact, while my Sr. II's will say "Oh my God!" when they are surprised - something they picked up from American movies, TV Shows, etc. - my Jr. II's say "Oh my Lady Gaga!" I pretty much lost it after I heard that for the first time.


NAAWIE:
Funny Economics-esque Observation:
After a few days, I realized that some of the best students in the class were the troublemakers. At first, I was confused; they goof off in the back while the other students quietly pay attention. Then it hit me. The students in the front speak well because they volunteer all of the time. The kids in the back speak well because they are forced to speak all the time. I'm guilty of feeding into this as well... when a kid is causing a commotion and becoming a distraction, I would tell him to come up and volunteer for the activity in progress. This is also the reason I know all my troublemakers names already. I'm sure formally trained teachers are saying "No Duh" right now, but for me this was profound stuff. The kids who are least proficient are the quiet ones in the middle - I've got to find a way to get them involved.

Challenging:
I try to mix in those American pop culture references they love so much into my classes and I truly believe that the majority of my students like my teaching. Yet still, a few of my kids have told me straight up "that class was boring." I've heard that I can't make everybody happy, but goshdarn it I'm going to give it my damnedest!

I'm finding it difficult to (a) teach relevant material, (b) hold the students' attention for an entire period, (c) gain their respect (at least not become a total pushover), without (d) having to be an authoritarian.

Is this possible?

This is the golden question. Next week, I'm going to be doing a unit on American culture and if things go well I'll break it down by relevant regions of the United States (sorry Great Plains, you didn't make the cut) with games for each territory. If that doesn't cut it... I guess we'll do interpretations of Gaga lyrics or something.

Fun:
The good students definitely make any hurtles completely worth jumping.

Fred from my 10A Friday class gave me a novel he was writing. The first six chapters were very entertaining (even though I learned they were loosely [exactly] based on a video game he was playing) and I can't wait to find out what happens next!

Anaka from my 2A Monday class wanted to interview me about my thoughts on the Expo, unfortunately I haven't gone yet (SACRILEGE!). Instead, we talked about her aspirations as a journalist and about my experience as one in college and at the Olympics. She's really bright and seems like she's going places.

One of my students (whose secret I promised to keep) is applying to private boarding schools in Massachusetts. She asked me what life was like there and I gave her the whole scoop on that. Speaking of which, does anyone who reads the blog know anybody at the Concord Academy, the Cambridge School in Weston, the Governor's Academy, or Tabor Academy? She's definitely the best speaker in her class and one of my best students, so I'd be willing to write her a recommendation or something to help her out.

Oh and my favorite story so far...
I was playing this game called "Back to the Blackboard", where I split the class in half and have two kids come up to the front of the room with their backs to the blackboard while I write a word behind them. Their teammates had to get them to guess the word using other English words.

At the beginning of class there was a big kid sitting in the back named Tommy, and I asked him to move up to an open seat in the second row. He said, "I can't, I'll break seat." So I let him sit in the back.

When it was his turn to come up and represent his team for three points, the other team cheered when his name was called (thinking he was easy points against one of the smarter kids in the class). I forget the words I wrote on the board, but he raised his hand first and got the correct answer for the first point.

Pandemonium. Both teams gasped then just screamed.

Second point. Opponent gets first chance. Gets it wrong. Tommy guesses. And scores!

Kids are jumping up and down now. In disbelief on one side and jubilation on the other.

Third point. Tommy shoots. Nothin' but the bottom of the net. The class chants "TOMMY! TOMMY! TOMMY!" as he walks to his seat at the back of the class. Freaking epic. I won't forget his name for a good long time.

...

So, it's been a crazy five-and-a-half weeks here. I feel like I've lived here a year. There's so much I've left out of these entries, but I'll keep trying to capture the key moments for anyone out there who's interested.

School notes I couldn't fit in relevantly above:
- When they have vacations here, they make them up on weekends... I had a three day holiday for the Mid-Autumn Festival on a Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday and had to work the preceding Saturday and the whole weekend afterwards. I don't know if I'm for or against it, it was just an unusual concept, even for me.
- The kids here come from some prestigious families. When we go out to eat food after work, we pass by a long line of Rolls Royces fully equipped with professional drivers. Just ridiculous. (Matthias, I'll try to get you a photo)
- Oh and not only am I a teacher, but also a student! I take two Mandarin classes a week, plus a computer program I have, plus everything I pick up at work and on the street. I can feel the progression and I love it!

Until next time (hopefully sooner than later),
Zaijian!
Stephen "Scuba" Lauer

...

UPDATE!
I somehow forgot to mention that I was in a tug-of-war competition for the SFLS Sports Day! We got second place... CLOSE ENOUGH! Here is your reward for reading the blog:

Most people don't get the Eye of the Tiger, I've got two

 

Orienting to Shanghai Part 2: Sights and Fights

Left to Right: Jack, Sarah, JennyJo, Andy, Joe, Gillian, Me!, Becca, Max, Sean, Anna, Pete, Wes, and Austin

As of today, I have officially lived in Shanghai for a month. There isn't enough time or space (or brain cells in my head) for me to recount every fun/awesome/weird event that I've experienced since I got here. But I will do my best to recap the very best of the first month so far. Here's a taste (in no particular order):

- Most of orientation stunk. An expat who had lived in the city for 10/15/40 years would discuss all of the culture shock and worst case scenarios we would almost certainly encounter (now we literally take what was said there and do the exact opposite, it was so bogus). However, there was one great lecture: The Role of Chinglish in China!

A Chinese English professor with a funny British/Chinese accent gave a lecture saying that it was impossible to experience China without experiencing Chinglish. She showed a lot of stellar examples of translations gone wrong. My favorites: "Please Slip Carefully" (for wet floors), menu items such as "Spring F--- Chicken with Rice" or "Husband and Wife Lung Slice", and my all-time favorite one from her slide show was a business with a large sign reading "Translation Server Error" (apparently she told the owner what it said, but even a year later the sign remained).

These are everywhere, but that doesn't stop it from being funny every time. Here's one from the Swan Hotel where we spent our first three nights.

We found out later that the Chinese symbol for "ceiling" is very close to the symbol for "smallpox." Needless to say, that was the last button we flicked before going to sleep (that is NOT the way I want to go out).

- That lecture came right before a great night.

We had a traditional Chinese banquet with about 20 courses. Duck, fish, pork, steak, many vegetables they don’t have back home, and plenty of pijou. A great meal and I got to meet a lot of the people from Marshall teaching at the other schools.

I’d say there’s too many to mention, but that’s not my style.

I had already met Becca, Jenny Jo, and Sarah at my hotel the first night and they were all at my table; they teach at Jin Cai over in Pudong. We still see them whenever possible and they'll come up in a bunch of my adventures in the future. Likewise with Austin and Jack, who teach at Shanghai University of Finance and Economics (SHUFE). Austin lived here last year and knows all the fun places to party and visit around town. Anna, Wes, and Will are teaching out in the Hunan province; they were a ton of fun when they were out in Shanghai, hopefully they come back for a visit. Joe and Gillian are a really interesting couple from New York City who will also be teaching out in Hunan.

We follow up with a cruise around the harbor. It’s absolutely magnificent when it’s lit up, even with heavy rain. The city looks like it was built in the year 2500, and more new crazy/interesting architecture pops up everyday. I can't wait to see Shanghai in 2020 (I lied, I can wait, there's too much fun to be had in the next decade). Since there are no words left to describe it, here are a few images (all compliments of Sean Jackson, since I lost the cable to upload my own pictures).

- I've officially set a new Scublog record for most words between sports references, so now is the time to snap that streak. I am now a proud supporter of the Shanghai Shenhua Football Club! When I try to talk to co-workers, students, or annoying flower saleswomen outside of clubs about the Shenhua, I always get the same reaction: "Why???" (or "You want buy flower?" They're never really interested in making small talk) I had read that there is a general lack of enthusiasm for Chinese soccer, especially due to some game rigging scandals in the past few years that lead to the retirement of several high standing soccer players who wanted no part of the Chinese Superleague.

But don't tell that to those inside the stadium. The first game I went to with Sean, Andrew, and the Jin Cai girls, Shanghai played against Dalian Shide. It would be generous to the local team to say that the stadium was half full, but the stadium is massive and those there were noisy, flag waving (huge freaking flags too, I got some good pictures I'll get up ASAP) zealots. About as exciting as the Shenhua's inability to convert on a plethora of strong looks - which cost them the game, which ended in a 1-1 draw - was the off-field action.

A small, but loud, contingent of Dalian fans chanted at the Shenhua faithful, who would respond, and they would go back-and-forth when action was slow (see: players rolling around in agony). It turns out that about 15% of the words yelled by anyone in the stadium are "cai pao" meaning "referee" and about 80% are, ahem, let's say "to thank." So, the most common phrase is either "thank you referee" or "go thank yourself ref" (it's kind of like that, just the exact opposite).

At halftime, a number of fights broke out near the concession areas of the stadium. The refs started out letting the players play a rough style, but increasingly blew their whistles more often causing a lot of tension between the fans. Within the last 10 minutes, a fight broke out on the pitch (unfortunately, I was too slow with the camera to catch any of it before it was broken up). For an arena so empty, I had never felt this type of electricity before. After the final whistle, there were immediately fights in the stairwells leading away from my section.

For whatever reason, I had brought my backpack with my computer, iPod, and camera in it. The way I understand it, Chinese can hit Chinese and Foreigners can hit Foreigners, but there's trouble when there is any crossover. However, with emotions running high and alcohol involved, I was obviously in protection mode. After getting the ladies to the Metro station, we started to head back, which took us right back to the stadium. As we approached, we saw a man and a police officer being chased by a large, angry mob. The man somehow continued running after being hit by a thrown bicycle and made it into his car, somehow unfortunately parked directly in front of the stadium. The police officer threw a couple hooligans out of the way while the others started whaling on the car. The car was not in a good position to leave the vicinity and, while I was some distance away from the scene, I could distinctly hear the shattering of windows and the windshield (hopefully Chinese insurance covers football riots). After he somehow escaped, the Shenhua hoard started chants set to the music of car horns.

Take shots at Chinese soccer if you please, but don't say that the fans lack passion, intensity, or craziness.

- There's so many other good ones:

- We went to eat at what seemed like a decent restaurant for lunch near Jin Cai. We were put at a table next to five Chinese businessmen who were drinking and smoking the afternoon away (it was 13:00). After eating a scary looking seafood dish - which I randomly chose off the menu that had no English or pictures on it - one of the businessmen came over and started talking to us in Mandarin. Before we knew it he started filling up our glasses and saying "GAN BEI!" (Bottoms UP!) Thanks to Andy and Sean's skills and Becca's Chinese-English dictionary, we learned that they were stoked that we were in their city, in their neighborhood, all the way from America, and wanted to show their appreciation. By 14:30, we were all sloshed and they paid for not only all of the booze, but also our entire meal! Someone somewhere has a picture of me with one of the businessmen... I need to get my hands on that. [UPDATE: Thanks to Jenny Jo for the photo! BTW, our table was the one to the left in the picture. Those were some generous dudes, and they were ready to buy us more!]

- We went out to a nice huge dinner and the restaurant was playing some good Chinese rock music, so I went to inquire about it. Using sign language, I successfully got them to turn off the music and play some gosh awful American pop music. Rather than sulk off defeated, I continued until they found one guy who could "talk" to me. His English was broken, but he really loved Americans.... I mean really loved them. After learning that I was one, he tried his darnedest to fulfill my request. He came over to the table with three things painted (in black paint) on his arm:

only music
3track
that's it no more

Being me, I thought these were the names of the bands and not the instruction, "there are only three tracks on the CD, that's it no more." After realizing this, I tried to ask him what the three tracks were to no avail. I gave up.

But that's not it. Eventually, I needed to relieve myself. He was staring at me for the entire meal, so I figured he could help me find the facilities. So I asked him, and he was so excited that he not only showed me the way to the WC, but decided to join in on the experience, by taking the urinal next to mine and starting a conversation. It would have been awkward if not for the motto one must live by when over here: This Is China (TIC). He told me that when he got off work at the restaurant that he was a policeman. I probably laughed at that point, since this kid was absolutely giddy just to be in my presence and that he looked like he might be old enough to start riding his bike without training wheels in a few months. But he set me straight a few minutes later. While sitting at my table he came over in his full policeman garb. I gave him mad props and we took our picture together. TIC TIC TIC

...

Everyday there are more stories, I'll try to update more so I can keep you all informed when the best ones happen. And did I mention that I'm actually teaching here? I'll save that for Part 3.

Zaijian!
Stephen "Scuba" Lauer